Taking a deep breath.
Resisting not to explain, accuse, or make individuals understand why, how, or what .
One step at a time.
I do not judge others, nor do I like being the piece of meat that the vultures seek to swarm around.
I don't believe in gossip. Gossip seeks to take refuge in this circle we call life.
I am being true to my own self. If only to forgive myself.
"I am rooted, therefore I flow "- Virginia Woolfe.
I woke up this morning.
I put my feet on the floor and looked around the room.
I said to myself " please god help me- walk this journey alone "
Then I took the step forward.
One step and one day at a time.
because I can.
This was written by another woman - Hope.
I not only found her thoughts to be inspirational in a sense of calm and understanding but also to give hope.
What a blessing are other humans as angels in disguise.
"So you fell over the edge.....you jumped off the steepest of cliffs....you dove head first into a body of water you knew nothing about.....and...you got hurt..... quite badly.
I guess that when you fell over the edge - jumped off that steep cliff --- dove head first into that body of unknown water -that there wasn't anyone around yelling at you to be careful. ( And...if there was.....would you have listened ? )
Maybe the only voice you heard at the time was your own - and you chose to ignore it....drown it out.....turn the volume down .
Perhaps , there was no warning at all about the dangers and damage to come.
Without warning, there was an edge that was just unavoidable ; as a huge crevice caused by an earthquake from which there was no escape....
Perhaps, all at once, the cliff was the only way around another form of impending peril....or maybe, on the worst day of your life, that unknown body of water would have inevitably swallowed you up, as the storm was just too powerful for you to overcome it's fury.
Some things happen purposefully by your actions / decisions....and then again...some things occur because they are intrinsically part of what this life is made of....and also, very much a part of what it is to be a human being.
No matter what the reason these things occur...... if we survive these events, I suppose we do so perhaps because we were...determined.. strong......fortunate maybe...?...or maybe because it was (as many things are )....a necessity,
( including reasons outside of ourselves..... like children perhaps. )
There is one thing though that I think is an important part of survival.... and that is having the will to do so. Thank God, literally, that you've got that !
Even when the edge may be a serious illness...or the cliff might be a problem that seems to have no answer or resolve at all.....or the unknown body of water that engulfs us and tows us under is for us, the suffering of a great loss....
I really think that a person's will to survive has alot to do with how their outcome unfolds.
We have to get our sea legs under us the best that we can...and do so for as long as we can.....and.... in a way that is ours alone.
For yourself...and for all those who are suffering an illness....for those who are having troubles- be they ongoing or ones that have come about unexpectedly...for those who are enduring the pain and ravages of a devastating loss....
I wish for all of us, the will to continue on in the face of hardship.... the strength of our own spirit to accept what life has brought and to fight well what we can...the comfort of those who love us dearly...the brightest Light to guide us with wisdom as we greet each day and face the darkness of night....abundant perseverance; as those who continue to stand- facing their fears .... endless hope; to support that kind perseverance.....and a faith in something greater than ourselves, to keep us humble enough to grasp the concept of imperfection in all human beings....and in life itself.
Somehow.....I think all of those things in synchronicity add to our ability to sustain ourselves as we strive to survive the edges, the cliffs and the depths of the darkest stormy sea .
Pull out all the stops......no holds barred.....use every resource you can to tread water, to keep breathing......to stay in motion....to move forward....to keep hoping....and to sustain yourself, until you find your feet on some good old fashioned, welcoming kind of ground .
You'll know when you've arrived in the vacinity of where you were headed....where you wanted to be...where you needed to be.
Your cells will tell you.
The light will shine more often than not.... and it's warmth will infuse you with new energy. You'll know when renewal is at hand and recovery's process has born it's fruit.
You'll be more able to Focus on Forward
( FOF ) wherever that takes you...instead of signaling SOS.
There is hope......there absolutely is.
Be open to it... and lean on it .
__________________________________
Wishing better days and nights to everyone who longs for them....
and as always... Peace to your hearts.....
Its been a while . A long time actually since I wrote on here. Never to mind. No excuses they don't work anymore, nor does procrastination. I could blame it on writer's block, finger cramps, brain farts, who knows. But I wont.
Instead I will write on an important issue that seems to be bothersome to thousands who sit in Lower Manhattan, camping out for days and days portraying one message " Stop being Greedy Wall Street ".
Capitalism is not 'the crisis' though. The entrepreneurial spirit that thrives in the U.S. is what makes and what drives this country. It is when the boundaries become blurred when the government decides to intervene and bailout massive corporations ( aka some banks ) when the times get tough. And as we all most surely know times are tough. Money is hard to be made, unless of course you're a C.E.O. in a banking corporation, or you, your company, or small business are somehow are unscathed from the financial depression that has lingered over the U.S. and the international economies in recent years. But, I doubt that very highly- going unscathed that is.
One of the many reasons why I have enjoyed my whole process of becoming an American citizen was because of the capitalistic opportunities in the U.S. The system. Its the reason why the economy can spread wealth, or make wealth, or influence wealth. The reason I have a job is because of the free market system. My boss sells a product. The consumer buys it. That consumer has the money to buy it because they received their money from the sale of another product. And, you and I can have a share in the profits on the market during profitable times, and sometimes not so profitable times. It is as simple as that. Unfortunately, not all agree though. Yes the big banks cried like babies when the economy and the stock market crashed back in 2009/2010, but why? Because they made the choice to sell their product to consumers who could not pay in return. Then they paniced and apparently by holding their hands out to the federal government they were saved from ultimate destruction or catalysmic failing on a world wide scale. Please , really? Or maybe I may not 'get' the real infinite complexities of capitalism, but I do get this- greed, power and politics. The government decided to intervene and stop an economic meltdown a couple of years back. But in doing so they gave back to the banks the power to once again rob from the poor to become rich. Thats right, the banks took the governments bailout, which by the way came from you and I who pay our taxes, and gave it to the banks so they could tax us again in order for them to pay back the government. It just doesn't sit right with the average Joe, and any wonder considering the same CEO's who messed their businesses up in the first place continued to mass millions of dollars in profit sharing at the end of the day. No its not right. The system has become infested with greed, power hungry executives, and political squander. And, because of this unfortunately faith in the free market system has suffered. Capitalism is not the problem people, politics is. But let's all admit it, what goes around in life will ultimately come back around, good or bad, dishonest politics and greed, or honest and true trading. It could be worse though right? We might as well be in a depression.
Have a great day my friends!
“To be able to move on, one has to learn
to forgive not only the person
(or people) who have done one wrong
but also oneself. “-Eugenia Tripputi
Yesterday, was one of ‘those’ days for me. ‘Those’ days usually consist of me shaking my head, brushing off the dust on my shoulders, or wanting to press the ‘back' button, like that on a computer keyboard. Unfortunately, in real life the ‘back’ button isn’t so easily accessible. Have you ever had one of those trigger moments, where unbeknown to you, you cannot see it coming. It is like a fly ball, a curve ball, or a boomerang hit to the head in life where you thought you threw out the past hurts or distasteful memories and let them go only to realize you really did not? Or perhaps the best of your intentions were to forgive and forget, but in all your energy and psychological spasms of fear of letting go you failed to do so completely.
Letting go of the past whether those memories are good or bad, or neither, is a reminder of personal growth. As my days continue on my journey through this lifetime, I will be honest and say I have come along way in better understanding myself, but yesterday, like many other days in the past are subtle reminders to me that I must forgive myself for those moments where I fall down in the dust regardless of my best intentions to remain sane. I guess what I am trying to say is this. For every day that I have blinded by fear and loathing of myself, whether my actions, words or confusion is masked by my emotions, I am becoming more aware of myself on a spiritual level, even though it may take me hours, days or months to learn from my own self. And, yes sometimes I find myself caught up in my past, but honestly I am trying to let go with all of my might. Those moments are not a mirror of my uncontrollable emotions, but rather a wake-up call for me to forgive myself one day at a time.
Sammi
Valerie – My only love.
“The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough. ~-George Moore
always. xx
There are no facts, only interpretations. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
I’m not sure why, but last night I sat and read John Milton’s poem Paradise Lost. The summary of the poem is as follows :
“Milton's epic poem opens on the fiery lake of hell, where Satan and his army of fallen angels find themselves chained. Satan and his lieutenant Beelzebub get up from the lake and yell to the others to rise and join them. Music plays and banners fly as the army of rebel angels comes to attention, tormented and defeated but faithful to their general. They create a great and terrible temple, perched on a volcano top, and Satan calls a council there to decide on their course of action.
The fallen angels give various suggestions. Finally, Beelzebub suggests that they take the battle to a new battlefield, a place called earth where, it is rumored, God has created a new being called man. Man is not as powerful as the angels, but he is God's chosen favorite among his creations. Beelzebub suggests that they seek revenge against God by seducing man to their corrupted side. Satan volunteers to explore this new place himself and find out more about man so that he may corrupt him. His fallen army unanimously agrees by banging on their swords.
Satan takes off to the gates of hell, guarded by his daughter, Sin, and their horrible son, Death. Sin agrees to open the gates for her creator (and rapist), knowing that she will follow him and reign with him in whatever kingdom he conquers. Satan then travels through chaos, and finally arrives at earth, connected to heaven by a golden chain.
God witnesses all of this and points out Satan's journey to his Son. God tells his Son that, indeed, Satan will corrupt God's favorite creation, man. His Son offers to die a mortal death to bring man back into the grace and light of God. God agrees and tells how his Son will be born to a virgin. God then makes his Son the king of man, son of both man and God.
Meanwhile, Satan disguises himself as a handsome cherub in order to get by the angel Uriel who is guarding earth. Uriel is impressed that an angel would come all the way from heaven to witness God's creation, and points the Garden of Eden out to Satan. Satan makes his way into the Garden and is in awe at the beauty of Eden and of the handsome couple of Adam and Eve. For a moment, he deeply regrets his fall from grace. This feeling soon turns, however, to hatred.
Uriel, however, has realized that he has been fooled by Satan and tells the angel Gabriel as much. Gabriel finds Satan in the Garden and sends him away.
God, seeing how things are going, sends Raphael to warn Adam and Eve about Satan. Raphael goes down to the Garden and is invited for dinner by Adam and Eve. While there, he narrates how Satan came to fall and the subsequent battle that was held in heaven. Satan first sin was pride, when he took issue with the fact that he had to bow down to the Son. Satan was one of the top angels in heaven and did not understand why he should bow. Satan called a council and convinced many of the angels who were beneath him to join in fighting God.
A tremendous, cosmic three-day battle ensued between Satan's forces and God's forces. On the first day, Satan's forces were beaten back by the army led by the archangels Michael and Gabriel. On the second day, Satan seemed to gain ground by constructing artillery, literally cannons, and turning them against the good forces. On the third day, however, the Son faced Satan's army alone and they quickly retreat, falling through a hole in heaven's fabric and cascading down to hell.
This is the reason, Raphael explains, that God created man: to replace the empty space that the fallen angels have left in heaven. Raphael then tells of how God created man and all the universe in seven days. Adam himself remembers the moment he was created and, as well, how he came to ask God for a companion, Eve. Raphael leaves.
The next morning, Eve insists on working separately from Adam. Satan, in the form of serpent, finds her working alone and starts to flatter her. Eve asks where he learned to speak, and Satan shows her the Tree of Knowledge. Although Eve knows that this was the one tree God had forbidden that they eat from, she is told by Satan that this is only because God knows she will become a goddess herself. Eve eats the fruit and then decides to share it with Adam.
Adam, clearly, is upset that Eve disobeyed God, but he cannot imagine a life without her so he eats the apple as well. They both, then, satiate their new-born lust in the bushes and wake up ashamed, knowing now the difference from good and evil (and, therefore, being able to choose evil). They spend the afternoon blaming each other for their fall.
God sends the Son down to judge the two disobedient creatures. The Son condemns Eve, and all of womankind, to painful childbirths and submission to her husband. He condemns Adam to a life of a painful battle with nature and hard work at getting food from the ground. He condemns the serpent to always crawl on the ground on its belly, always at the heel of Eve's sons.
Satan, in the meantime, returns to hell victorious. On the way, he meets Sin and Death, who have built a bridge from hell to earth, to mankind, whom they will now reign over. When Satan arrives in hell, however, he finds his fallen compatriots not cheering as he had wished, but hissing. The reason behind the horrible hissing soon becomes clear: all of the fallen angels are being transformed into ugly monsters and terrible reptiles. Even Satan finds himself turning into a horrible snake.
Adam and Eve, after bitterly blaming each other, finally decide to turn to God and ask for forgiveness. God hears them and agrees with his Son that he will not lose mankind completely to Sin, Death and Satan. Instead, he will send his son as a man to earth to sacrifice himself and, in so doing, conquer the evil trinity.
Michael is sent by God to escort Adam and Eve out of the Garden. Before he does, however, he tells Adam what will become of mankind unitl the Son comes down to earth. The history of mankind (actually the history of the Jewish people as narrated in the Hebrew Bible) will be a series of falls from grace and acceptance back by God, from Noah and the Flood to the Babylonian exile of the Jewish people.
Adam is thankful that the Son will come down and right what he and Eve have done wrong. He holds Eve's hand as they are escorted out of the Garden.”
Citation : http://www.gradesaver.com/paradise-lost/study-guide/short-summary/
So here’s the deal. After reading this, what dawned on me was not the plot that Milton intended for his readership to discover, because we already know, that this story is almost the same as the beginning chapters of the book of Genesis in the Bible, but the interpretation that Milton had in order to bring to life another interpretation of another man’s opinion on the beginning of humankind. Milton’s writing brilliance enabled the interpretation of the fall of humankind to be understood in a more epic setting. And, despite this, despite the way in which two stories mirror interpretation, my own interpretation of the reasoning behind this is simple. We tend to follow. We listen, we learn, we understand, or don’t. But more so,we form our own opinions based on what we are all told. If reality shows us one thing, why then are we drawn towards the thinking and opinions of another interpretation. Just because black is black and white is white, does that mean it really is ? What if black was red, and white was green?
My post today is not to banter or sway opinion on religion. Because I believe in God. But my interpretation of God may not be that of yours. I will not argue my interpretation or sway yours, but I will keep mine all the same. And, my interpretation and understanding of the reality of life and the after life may change from day to day based on what life presents to me every day I am graced with the breath of life, but in the mean time I challenge you today not to dwell on what you have been told about the facts of life as one or millions may interpret and live it, but on how you feel, think, and breathe it. There are angels walking on this earth. You may be sitting beside one on the bus, or yelling at one across the street, and either way they lay claim to reality.
“Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him? “~Calvin and Hobbes
Have a beautiful day, sun, rain, hail or shine,
Sammi .
Valerie I love you. xx
Because you are my sunrises,
Because you are my sunsets,
Because you are my sunshine,
Because you are the epitome of selflessness,
Because you light up my heart and soul when you walk into the room,
Because you have shown me how to love through patience and understanding,
Because you are the colors to my world around me,
Because you are the beat to the sound of my heart rolling over life’s waves,
Because you give to me a love that is beyond my comprehension,
Because you are my world,
Because you are
I love.
For my love, my life, my sweet Valerie. xx
“He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.”-
Johann von Goethe
Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.
- Marcus Aurelius
It’s the start of another new week. A week full of unforeseen happenings all of which beckon to creep, startle, or bless us with life. And, while some of us care not to wonder about
what may happen tomorrow, rather living for the moments of today, one thing is certain, time quickly passes us by. My anniversary for being in the United States came amounted to 9
years only last week, and while those nine years passed by memorable they did so quickly. Time has a unique way of reminding us of how little we have lived day to day, how much
life we have left to live, and do so with a passion.
So, I am left to wonder and ponder on the events of my life over the last nine years, and as thankful as I am for life itself, I am ready to continue the journey onwards day after day. Because just
as the days continue on, time sweeps those memories and places them into the archives of our hearts and minds.
Today, the sun shines down on the State of New York, and no doubt across this beautiful country elsewhere, and warms the assets of time’s wonders. To be thankful everyday for something life
has gifted and blessed me with, and today I am thankful for time. The winds of time have blessed me with experiences far beyond my years, and for this I am not only thankful but blessed that I
have been able to share life’s moments, unlike some who have passed on and left this world way beyond their years.
Have a momentous day, savor the minutes, the hours, and the breath of life…. Time does pass quickly whether we care to know it or not.
Sammi
Val – “شما هم من ، روز من، عشق من، دلبر من برای همیشه و همیشه.”
(( You are my time, my days, my love, my soulmate forever and always ))
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