“To be able to move on, one has to learn
to forgive not only the person
(or people) who have done one wrong
but also oneself. “-Eugenia Tripputi
Yesterday, was one of ‘those’ days for me. ‘Those’ days usually consist of me shaking my head, brushing off the dust on my shoulders, or wanting to press the ‘back' button, like that on a computer keyboard. Unfortunately, in real life the ‘back’ button isn’t so easily accessible. Have you ever had one of those trigger moments, where unbeknown to you, you cannot see it coming. It is like a fly ball, a curve ball, or a boomerang hit to the head in life where you thought you threw out the past hurts or distasteful memories and let them go only to realize you really did not? Or perhaps the best of your intentions were to forgive and forget, but in all your energy and psychological spasms of fear of letting go you failed to do so completely.
Letting go of the past whether those memories are good or bad, or neither, is a reminder of personal growth. As my days continue on my journey through this lifetime, I will be honest and say I have come along way in better understanding myself, but yesterday, like many other days in the past are subtle reminders to me that I must forgive myself for those moments where I fall down in the dust regardless of my best intentions to remain sane. I guess what I am trying to say is this. For every day that I have blinded by fear and loathing of myself, whether my actions, words or confusion is masked by my emotions, I am becoming more aware of myself on a spiritual level, even though it may take me hours, days or months to learn from my own self. And, yes sometimes I find myself caught up in my past, but honestly I am trying to let go with all of my might. Those moments are not a mirror of my uncontrollable emotions, but rather a wake-up call for me to forgive myself one day at a time.
Sammi
Valerie – My only love.
“The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough. ~-George Moore
always. xx
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